Click

Behind the lens

Images reveal themselves

Light, colour, texture and composition

I was unaware existed

A process of breathing and seeing. . . 

Patience . . 

What is it that catches my eye?

Lean in . . . 

Zero in . . .

Focus

Depth of field?

Check the edges

Shutter speed and aperture

Breathe in and really SEE

Click.

~Roxanne Watson – October, 2018

Pure Joy

This is the face of my grandson
The one who knows that
When you draw a person
You start with the heart
"Because everyone needs a heart,
Right Gramma?"
Yes Nico, everyone needs a heart,
a kind and loving heart,
just like yours!

This is the face of my grandson, 

The one who said, "My heart hurts, Mama"

When she asked why, he said, 

"Because I keep thinking of Great Papa

And how much he loved basketball 

And it makes me sad that

He's not here to play with me 

and to watch me play."

This is the face of my grandson

The one who is so full of life and ideas and words and action

The one who can figure out any problem

As long as he is able to move

The one who is the first to ask,

"Are you okay?" when his team mates go down

The one who creates

art and poetry that show

Red really IS like a volcano

erupting for the first time!

This is the face of my granddaughter,

The one who spends most of her days
upside down.

The one who shares all of her heart
in all she does
 and radiates enthusiasm from every pore.

The one who needs just the right amount of
fierce independence

balanced with,"I need my blankie,"
night time music with Daddy,

And make -me-better hugs from Mommy.

This is the face of my grandson.

The daring one who wants to know,

"Will you play with me?"

The one who loves chocolate anything 

(just like his Gramma) but won't eat vegetables,
NO WAY!

The one who adores his big sister so much

but will knock down her carefully created tower

in the blink of an eye with a smile on his face

The one who gazes at his little sister with love

and says, "Hewwo, wittle, Waywa!"

This is the face of my granddaughter,

the one who first taught us

about the magic a grandchild can bring to your life.

The one who was born an old soul,

diplomatic, kind and caring, right from the start.

The one who knows her way around

The Metropolitan Museum of Art

And dreams of travelling the world.

,

This is the face of my granddaughter

the one they say looks just like me (lucky me!).

The one we all hug and snuggle

and do crazy things for, just to make her smile.

The one who has been so mellow

but is showing signs of becoming

a strong girl with a voice of her own

The one we are surrounding 

with all of our love

curious to see who she will grow in to.

These are the faces of my grandchildren,

They bless us with their laughter

and curiosity, their temper tantrums

and their make-up squeezie hugs,

their crazy senses of humour and the

kind of pure, loving words

that can only come from a child.

These are my grandchildren.

Lucky me!

Art, Creativity and Validation

It has been an interesting few weeks for me as an 'artist'.  I am always hesitant to use that word in reference to what I do and I am not sure where that comes from.  Another blog, another time.  A few weeks ago I took a class to learn how to make art with alcohol inks. I had seen a beautiful piece of art with this medium and it looked very intriguing so I signed up.  The results of this class were two very colourful, vibrant pieces of work that I was quite pleased with. Alcohol inks are hard to control so you just have to sometimes let the ink go where it needs to go. I find this very freeing and like some good writing, the picture emerges and looks just like it was supposed to look without too much interference from the artist.  I got a chance to play and felt no pressure to make it 'right'.

I thought the process was fun and was happy with the result and posted it proudly to my FB page.  The image got some comments and likes and three friends actually offered to buy it.  Well, I didn't know what to do with that.  I had no idea how to put a 'value' on my work - it was not meant for that. I struggled with why I struggled.  What was holding me back from setting a price and letting it go?  I had never really looked at my art (aside from my Paverpol statues) as a 'product'.  I was invested in the process and how it made me feel.  In the end I got some good quality copies made, sent them off to these wonderful ladies and asked them to make a donation to a charity in their neighbourhood.  Well, not long after that I got a FB message asking if I would be willing to 'sell' a photo that I had taken of Chesterman Beach, Tofino.  That image spoke to me as well and it is now hanging over my bed on a 24 X 36 canvas.  Again, what to do about 'selling' my work?  In the end I didn't sell it.  When I had my canvas done I had two made and the individual simply paid for the canvas.  I felt better about not selling it and I don't know why.  The second canvas now hangs in the office of a very prestigious member of our community and I LOVE that it brings the same kind of peace to her that it does to me.

These two incidences put my brain into a dither.  I like creating things; images, poems, watercolours, acrylics, alcohol ink, pallet projects, statues, journals and more.  I love the process.  I love how time disappears when I am 'in the zone'.  I love the peaceful feeling that comes when I look at the things I have made.  I also love sharing a lot of what I create and this leads to the question of 'validation'.  While on a photography retreat on Hornby Island last weekend this very topic came up.  A very talented and successful artist,  Esther Sample, happened to be at the photography retreat this weekend and she touched my life in more ways than she'll ever know.  Esther IS an artist.  Her work is her income, but more important than that, it is her life's passion.  A group of us had a very interesting conversation about the monetary value of art and how it impacts the artist's feelings, sense of validation and more importantly, his/her sense of creativity and purpose.  Esther does not paint for money, she paints from the heart, from her daily life and from the surroundings that inspire her time and time again.  As a commercial fisherwoman she knows the ins and outs of the sea and the boats and the wildlife that goes with that life. That is evident in her paintings, a piece of her soul goes into every work of art she creates and this is evident in the beauty and power in her images. However, she is impacted by the market, by the buyer's wishes and by the art community at large and this creates a dissonance, one that all artists can identify with.

On a much smaller scale we also tackled the idea of why people write and why some share their writing and others don't.  My sister-in-law is a very gifted writer.  She has published (in the real sense, not the FB sense :) ) but lately has not felt the need or desire to share what she writes.  My own writing, particularly my poetry, often stays within the pages of the book it is written in.  Some is for sharing, some not.  The question that remained at the end of the discussion still is, "Why?".  Earlier in the weekend one of the workshop participants was talking about how art came to her late in life.  I understood where she was coming from and mentioned that I had written a poem on that very topic. (an-artists-soul.html )The next day she asked to read that poem and two words into it tears started streaming down her face.    She had to take a break, read it slowly, finish it, take a breath and then read it again.  She said to me, "I have just met you and you have written these words that describe my life and my feelings for the past year."  We all had a good cry, those reading and those who sauntered into the group as the feelings filled the room.  I don't write to touch other peoples' lives.  I write to explore my own feelings with myself.  But WOW, what a moment it was to know my words had touched another in such a powerful way.  I will continue to write for myself but I have become so much more aware that those words and feelings may impact another and let them know for just a moment that they are not alone in this world.

So to all of those writers and artists out there reading this: 

Carry on!!  

The world needs you!

Paverpol Statue - by Roxanne Watson

You can find Esther Sample's work at the following website:

esthersample.com

Ocean's Power - by Esther Sample

Hornby Island, The Universe, and a Look Inside of Myself

My thoughts are as jumbled as the images in this long exposure shot.  Some of these thoughts are as sharp as the lines of the headlamps running through and some are as fuzzy as the individuals on the move, getting ready to shoot the universe.

Hornby Island.  This is my fourth adventure with Illuminate Photo Education and probably the one that has most resulted in creating a need to dig deep within myself to understand.  Yes, it's about images but the creation of those images require particular understandings; technical camera settings, a basic understanding of composition and colour and a moment of reflection to figure out what drew you to the want/need to take this particular shot.  All of these things require learning and practice and feedback and MISTAKES.

This weekend on Hornby was my least comfortable.  Probably because this time my learning was pushed to the edge and the discomfort that came with that learning really caught me by surprise. Long story short, I wanted to learn but I didn't want it to be hard.  I didn't want to be the person who needed 45 minutes to understand a concept.  I like to learn quickly, and easily.  I don't want it to be HARD! Thank you Boomer for pushing, and pushing, and pushing.  The shot that I took wasn't important.  I didn't even particularly like the resulting image, it was technically better but didn't provide me with any creative satisfaction.  I liked the one I thad taken prior to the lesson better.  I do know however that I would not have been ABLE to take that second shot without the lesson. I would not have had the necessary technical knowledge.  The point of the lesson was that if I HAD wanted to take that second shot, I wouldn't have been able to and now I can.  It is my reaction to how I FELT about that lesson that is still trying to sort itself out.

For the first time on one of these photography retreats I went through a period of discouragement, feelings of inadequacy and a need to go off on my own to process this.  I am a people person and I wonder after this shoot if some of my need to be around people is also a way of avoiding myself.  In previous years most of my images were 'bigger'.  By that I mean images of the never-ending sea, the vast beaches, the big skies, the elements of Hornby that I look out on and love.

When I am in these elements I find myself taking big breaths, all the way to the bottom of my lungs and an exhale that requires a calendar rather than a stopwatch to time.  This place brings peace to my soul and a stillness to me that can only come with the sights, sounds, smells and sense of touch that comes with being at the beach.  The scene above conveys the feelings that generally come with being on Hornby.

Many of the images that I shot on this retreat are more detailed, closer in, particularly the ones AFTER the lesson on depth of field.  My photography is reflecting my inner workings.  My need to look into myself resulted in images that reflected more detail, a more intimate interaction and a much more detailed approach to shooting.  The composition became extremely important and the subject much more simplified.  I am finding the whole relationship between my feelings and my images fascinating, not always comfortable, but interesting.

 

Hornby is always a thought-provoking experience for me.  How can you not feel a sense of wonder looking at an image that was created during 45 minutes of the earth spinning and the universe shining down on you?

This shot requires a level of technical understanding that four years ago would have seemed impossible to me.  That learning came in increments, from the instructors, from the amazing people around me and from my own willingness to open myself up to that very same universe.

Each time I do these retreats I go with the flow.  I bend with the wind.  I open myself up to new people and new learning experiences.  Never before though have I felt resistant to that.  Photography has always been about the emotional impact for me.  I choose images that make me FEEL, images that connect with me and who I am and what I love.  The need to focus on developing my technical skills in order to grow as a photographer was an uncomfortable experience.  But those images above, WOW!, not ones I would have been able to take without going through that discomfort.  So, there you have it. . . real growth is painful and awkward and uncomfortable and really, life changing.  I am home now but this trip to Hornby will have my head spinning for a while yet while I try to hone in on the emotional aspects that came with this latest experience.  

Be Careful

Be Careful

Be careful with those particular words,

For oftentimes they close a door

That might otherwise have remained opened.

Don’t simply look,

Open your eyes and see.

Do the seats of the soul

Expose what lies beyond

The expression on the face

And in the body?

Sometimes, yes sometimes,

The exterior belies 

The feelings inside.

Be careful with those particular words.

They create an expectation

And oftentimes stifle the willingness

To seek that which is needed

Be careful with those particular words,

“You are so strong!”

Be careful.

~Roxanne Watson 

Red Is - by Kai Uchida

What Do I Know of Me?

What Do I Know of Me?

Dabbling, researching

Never mastering

Curious and open

Always searching

For what?

Emotional, restless

Determined, loyal

Loving, thoughtful

Strong

Mostly