Learning to Learn - For Life

I started 2020 with a goal of 'making a lot of mistakes'.  I wanted to try new things while having some adventures along the way.  The early part of the year involved pottery lessons, an encaustic class, a journal retreat, a Coast Salish weaving class, Zentangle and macrame.  Alongside formal classes I was learning to play with these new skills at home.  Trust me, I made a LOT of mistakes.  I also learned a lot about how I learn.

  

I don't mind making mistakes.  Especially if I am in a group of people who are also making mistakes. I am considerably less patient when I am the slow learner!  Learning has always been fairly easy for me, especially when it involves things I am interested in.  With learning so many new things in a short time at the start of the year I was exposed to a lot of new skills.  I was honestly surprised at my impatience with myself if I felt like I was falling behind the rest of the class.  I was MOST frustrated when the instructor did not bail me out immediately!  When I had to sit and wait, while others moved on, I became incredibly impatient, sometimes to the point of agitation.  It was so good for me to learn to breathe, to be patient, to try to figure it out myself while I waited and to know that learning isn't always easy.  I practiced all of these stategies and, trust me, they took PRACTICE!  I have still not mastered these strategies but I am better and getting better all the time.

Then came Covid-19.  I had signed up for a photography class that focussed on architecture.  Two days in downtown Chilliwack that I was really looking forward to.  I also signed up for a long distance cycling condo that would have been my first large group ride.  I was most disappointed in this one as it was my 'motivator' and my 'big adventure' for the early part of this year.  My new road bike will just have to wait for its inaugural race.

An Unsettled Day

Not going to lie, folks.  Today I am feeling unsettled.  I generally have lots of energy and enjoy many activities that usually make me feel like there are not enough hours in the day for all I want to do. Today is different.

The times are different.  We are different.  And, I guess that's what prompts me to write today.  With all of the social media access out there and all of the time we spend on our devices, there aren't too many times where we see less than people's best.  Today, I am not at my best and I felt like maybe there were others out there who needed to hear they are not alone in that feeling.

Through most of the last couple of weeks I have actually enjoyed the quietness of our lives.  Even though we are retired, we are busy.  I am busy.  Creativity has filled the hours and there has been time for quiet contemplation.  You might not guess it, but I am a fairly contemplative person who needs alone time to ponder life on a pretty regular basis. I have stayed away from too much news and too much information.  I have deleted posts and messages that don't serve my need for peace right now.  I have been very selective about what I allow into my world.  So, I have not minded being home (other than not seeing our family who we miss terribly).

I know that going back to teaching this week has sapped a lot of my energy.  Zoom meetings are a wonderful way to get together but most people in education this week have had to face a variety of responses from those they work with, from their school boards, from the district and from the general public.  Reactions from my colleagues have been varied; some are quiet, some are vocal, some are anxious and some are downright eager to the point of working well into the night. I am happy and ready to work but my mindset has shifted from unusually quiet to full-tilt and I have to consciously slow things down for my own peace of mind.

I am taking care of myself and sometimes that looks like baking and sometimes it's art, watching a movie, looking at pictures, joining a photography challenge, writing notes to the kiddies or just sitting, quietly sitting.  I force myself away from thinking about the state of the world, how much school stuff I want to get done and sometimes even away from making art and going on bike rides.  What I am saying is that being still at this moment is taking a conscious effort where yesterday it didn't and  that I need to honour what my heart is telling me.

I know this will go away, probably by tomorrow, but today I needed 'to just be'.  I am hoping you are honouring what your inner voice is telling you and doing what is best for. you.  I am thinking of you all during these challenging times knowing that what brings peace will be different for each of you.  Take care of yourselves, listen to that inner voice and stay safe.