Homeward Bound

The cold wind and rain slap my face as if to wake me up to being in the moment.  I've hauled my luggage down the steep narrow stairs of the Doolin Inn a little early so I can take a saunter.  I head down Fisher Street towards the ferry dock, passing the brightly coloured shops and pause in front of Gus O'Connor's Pub.  Last night we ended our journey with a knee slapping, toe tapping night of pure Irish Music and a glass or two of Guiness or Whiskey.  I gaze out over the sea to the shadow of Inis Mor where a piece of my soul will forever remain.

The blustery weather of today does not dim the memory of the sun shining on my face as I lay atop Dun Aonghasa staring at the clouds and letting all of life pass through my head and heart.  The steep climb, both up and down, tested my balance and kept me focused ! That last day a rainbow shone down across the rocky hillsides to the sea reflecting the magic of the place.  I stopped at the bottom to have a chat with Vincent, the basket maker, who is there each day as I go up and down.  Vincent came to Inis Mor for a weekend 52 years ago as a young fisherman and knew this is where he would spend the rest of his days.  The little basket I bought will sit on my treasure shelf reminding me of my chats with Vincent, Kilmurvey House, Inis Mor and Dun Aonghasa (where the cows are not afraid of heights).

This morning I will say farewell to the 16 writers I have shared this "Go Alone" journey with.  I was never, in fact, alone.  We came from all corners and quickly settled into friendships that will last a lifetime.  12 of these women are 'alone' in life; widowed, divorced or single.  Each one of them is creative, passionate and strong in spite of all life has thrown their way.  I have always believed that we develop a sense of ourselves through the looking glass of others and these  new friends held up their mirrors changing the way I see myself, especially as a writer, but really in every aspect of my life.

The writing itself was never my main goal in being here. But perhaps there is a writer inside of me, just longing to get out, much like the artist I didn't know resided in me.  One of our writing prompts asked us to think about what the main character in our stories really longed for, what he/she/they was most afraid of, and and how the story would end.  I am not a fiction writer but that prompt will definitely be guiding my life: What DO I most long for? What am I most afraid of and how do I want my story to end? Only time will tell but one thing is for sure, life will be lived in a more intentional manner thanks to my time 'alone'.

But, the most important aspect of travel for me is always the journey HOME.  My husband will meet me at the airport and that first hug will be a long one.  Hugs and kisses from the amazing people I get to call FAMILY will always top whatever experiences life brings my way!

Go n-éirí an bóthar leat guh nye-ree on boh-her lyat 

(safe journeys to you)

Inis Mor 2

It is Day 4 here on the stunning island of Inis Mor.  I feel like it has been much longer.  The group of 16 writers have quickly become friends and laughter rings throughout the hallways during the gathering times.  I am a later riser so often when I leave my room and head towards the dining room several other people are already there.  Every single time I can hear the talking, the story telling, but most of all, the laughter.  I am not generally a morning person but I have found it easy to settle into the group and to join the conversations, ALL of which involve stories and laughter.  It is a beautiful way to start the day!

While I don't identify as being a 'writer' I am quickly learning to try it on and see how it fits.  Many of these women have published and one quiet, gentle woman has published FIVE novels.  There is a mixture of writing styles; memoirs, biographies, fiction, educational material, poetry and historical novels that are all  being produced on this little island at this time.

When we gathered the first morning to tell our stories of why we are here, what we hope to achieve, what we have overcome and where we are headed, as always, I was moved by the honesty and the courage to share in front of strangers.  I was moved to tears more than once.  My friend Sheila often said, 'if you throw your troubles into a pile with everyone else's you will almost always take back your own'.  And yet, there was not an ounce of self-pity.  In fact, these women have demonstrated such strength of character in the face of so many challenges and have forged on, often inspired by the need to write.  While each of the stories belonged to the individual there were common themes of passion for writing, the need to stretch themselves to learn, along with wanting to live life to the fullest.  It is always a good thing to have your life put back into perspective.

Janie and Gerard (the facilitators) have created an environment of safety.  They are incredibly supportive yet are not afraid to challenge you as a writer.  As a teacher for many years I know how difficult it is to achieve that balance between constructive criticism and encouragement yet they make it look easy.  

Before the retreat each of us had to submit five writing samples.  On the second day here each of us met with Gerard for one hour to discuss our writing, our motivations for writing and to create a bit of a plan on how to best make use of our two weeks on Inis Mor.  No lie, I was nervous about the feedback and I came into the meeting lacking a real plan for moving forward with my writing.  I had made it clear in our initial zoom interview that writing was only a part of my reason to travel to Inis Mor, time for reflection and solitude were my main goals.  I left the meeting so uplifted!  I was validated as a writer, recognized as an artistic soul and encouraged to just BE while I was here.  Now I was free to write!

Inis Mor itself has also welcomed me.  The beach down the road calls to me and I may even go for a dip before I leave here.  The steep climb up to Dun Aonghasa fills my lungs and tests my knees but when you reach the top and look over the ocean at the base of 100' cliffs you know the climb has been worth it. The walk down the road past the highland cattle, along the stone walls, past the ancient cemetery whispers the stories of those who have gone before.  Ireland, as you know, is a land of saints and scholars, a land where stories, music and art are celebrated.  The rocky hillsides and stone walls tell the tales of back breaking efforts to settle this harsh land.  And yet, I have not met an Irish soul who has not been quick with a smile and even quicker with a story.

I came on this trip with a sliver of guilt, a feeling of perhaps being a bit selfish for wanting to take this journey alone.  Not anymore.  I feel my creative spark growing and the beginnings of a small flame poofing out from that spark.  I have stories to tell and time to tell them.  I feel blessed to have this opportunity and I will be making the most of it!

Slán go fóill

(goodby, for now)

Go Alone

“If you ever get the chance, go alone.
Walk alone, travel alone, live alone, dance alone.
Just for a while. If you ever get the chance, learn who you are
when the world isn’t demanding you to be one way or another.
Most people only know how to stand on their own 
if someone else will stand beside them. 
Don’t let that be your story.
When you get the chance, know that the opportunity
to walk alone, even for a bit, is a rare gift, one that will hand you
insight that can change the course of your life.”

~Brianna Wiest
My solo trip to Inis Mor has been inspired by many authors but these words by Brianna Wiest sealed the deal.  
I left my parents' home when I was 18 to start a life with the love of my life.  We had a beautiful baby boy in that first year of our marriage, an amazing daughter in our third year of marriage and rounded out our family in the best of ways with the births of our lively twins in the eighth year.  We have had rewarding careers and many adventures.  Life is good.
Those early years, I think, found me at my best.  I LOVED (and still do) being a wife, a mother, a family!  I wouldn't change a thing about how our lives transpired. We have had many adventures and our family remains the centre of our universe.
Having said that, I am in my 70th year.  I have become more aware of the sands of time and have read many influential writers whose messages of "spend some time alone, particularly if you are a creative" have settled into my brain and my heart.  So this trip to Inis Mor is for me.  Emily Dickinson wrote, "I am out with lanterns looking for myself." and her words have also resonated with me.  We all have past selves.  I am proud of all of them but want to spend these remaining years growing and learning and always, always, 'becoming'.  
I have kept my eyes peeled for an adventure to celebrate this 70th year.  The criteria included; a solo journey, a learning experience that took me just a little out of my comfort zone and one that I could look back on as an adventure.  So, here I am in Ireland, heading for the little island of Inis Mor.  Bob and I travelled to Ireland many years ago so that helped a little with the idea of heading off on my own.  While I hadn't intended such a grand adventure, it has turned into just that.
I am joining 10 other writers at Kilmurvey House for two weeks of writing and exploring both my own inner world and the world around me.  When asked what my writing goals would be I had to say that I didn't really have any.  I love to write; poetry, journalling, blogging etc. I would describe my writing as 'opportunistic'.  Generally when I write it is in response to an experience.  You may not know this but I am quite an emotional person (tongue in cheek) so anything that awakens me generally inspires me to write about it.
I am proud of the way I navigated my trip from Comox to Shannon.  It was long and tiring but I did it.  You can only understand my feelings if, like me, you have a partner who likes to have his adventures well scripted.  I seldom worry about anything when we travel as I know Bob will look after that end of things.  And I mean this in the best of ways.
Later today I meet with the group.  While we are a 'group', we are a group of writers and I am not going to lie, the word 'solitude' came up more than once while researching this trip.  I am excited for the workshops and hopefully some new friendships but what really appeals to me is the idea of solitude.  I plan to spend much of my time exploring Inis Mor with my camera, my pen and my curiosity, to keep all of my senses wide open.  I am here to experience the 'chance to go alone'.
An té a bhíónn siúlach, bíonn scéalach [S(he) who travels has stories to tell]