Today

Today I got on my bike and went for a 75 minute bike ride. It was chilly to start, especially on my hands and my face. It got warmer as I went, as it always does. I rode through the farm roads around where we live and saw (gratefully) signs that "winter" is losing its grip in our neck of the woods. I'm not usually particularly appreciative at this time of the year. I don't like the bareness of the landscape, the dull grey skies, the mud in the fields and that little nip in the air that really is all that constitues winter, well at least this year.

Today however, I looked through different eyes. In those bare trees I could see massive eagle nests. All around the fields, the trees and those nests soar one of the most elegant, beautiful creatures on our earth. I love the trill they make as they chase each other up and down and far and near. Today they were near. And there were many of them, perhaps thirty or forty. Several sported the signature white caps but many were the mottled brown of the younger generation.

In the muddy, dead fields filled with last year's cut off corn stalks I could see the mallards pairing off as they do at this time of the year. Everywhere I looked, every puddle there were pairs of mallards. Through today's eyes I saw nature at work. Those broken off corn stalks will soon be ploughed under and either a new crop will take its place or the field will sit bare signifying that it's that fields turn for a dormant year, a time to renew the soil.

Cloudy skies, mainly grey, settled down low around our snow-capped mountains. The sun powered its way through the greyness and I could feel a hint of warmth on my face as I stopped to take pictures. Far on the northern hilltops the clouds parted and that soft blue sky you get only at this time of the year peeked through, a sight for sore eyes.

There are many hobby farms in the Fraser Valley and those I passed were filled with shaggy animals. All of them looked about ready to lose their patchy, scraggly winter coats. Horses, goats, and llamas glanced as I rode by. Pigs rolled in the mud (yes, they actually do that), chickens scattered and dogs barked. It wasn't my speed that caught their eye, just my presence.

I do struggle staying active during those dark winter nights and today was a promise of more activity, on my part and mother nature's. I'm hoping we see more of each other as the days stretch out and I find my biking legs again.

Promoting Kindness (Otherwise known as Anti-Bullying)

This blog on "bullying" has been percolating in my brain for several years.  It is a complex issue.  Each time I hear of another life lost to bullying I ask myself why we as a community have not been able to address this problem effectively.
Bullying.  Bully-Prevention.  Anti-Bullying.  Stand Up 2 Bullying.  Stop a Bully.  Pink Shirt Day.  There's no shortage of attention to bullying these days, nor should there be.  As a former child, an educator and part of a large family I have experienced first-hand the effects of bullying.  I certainly read the paper and follow the news and there is no lack of stories which document the terrible impact bullying has, not only in our schools but in our workplaces, in our own families, neighborhoods, churches, teams, clubs and any other place where people come together.  Each time a bullying story hits the news we hear a renewed sense of outrage and are inundated with anti-bullying campaigns.  It seems to me, considering how often we hear of bullying and how many of us have experienced it in our own lives that these campaigns have not been effective over the years.  So, I have a suggestion;  Stop focusing on bullying and start focusing on kindness.
Over the last few years we have experienced a renewed focus on anti-bullying. At the same time we have lost funding for programs such as Roots of Empathy. " Roots of Empathy is an evidence-based classroom program that has shown significant effect in reducing levels of aggression among schoolchildren by raising social/emotional competence and increasing empathy."  Roots of Empathy focuses on building positive skills, positive interactions and has positive results.
And for me, here lies the crux of the problem.  I'm tired of hearing the word "bullying".  It has no positive conotations for me.  It's a negative spin on a negative problem.  It's time we stopped focusing on reducing bullying and started focusing on promoting kindness.  For every anti-bullying program that's out there there is  a program that promotes peace/kindness/empathy.  These are all skills our children (and adults) need to learn.  Roots of Empathy is just one.  Tribes TLC (http://tribes.com/) is another, Random Acts of Kindness (http://www.randomactsofkindness.org/lesson-plans-pilot-program) is a program that has been used at Kent Elementary and found to be wonderful in promoting positive interactions without the need for the usual reward that comes with some of these programs. It has long been a goal of mine to switch peoples' thinking (starting with my own) from reducing the negative to increasing the positive.  It started with our school goals at Kent Elementary a few years ago but it is also a focus in my own personal life.
Kent Elementary is a progressive school.  They believe strongly in creating the conditions for children to be successful. (http://connectedprincipals.com/archives/6554) This is the type of approach that will reduce bullying.  In the same way we create a positive culture for reading or healthy living or self-discipline we can create a culture that recognizes, promotes and teaches (coaches) kindness.  Students who come to school unable to read are provided with the supports to help them.  This should be the same approach to bullying.  I strongly believe that all people (not just kids) do the best with what they have at the time.  Students who bully lack the basic skills and understandings of kindness.  Perhaps they have not experienced kindness in their own lives.  Do we punish them?  Many believe this is the way.  I do not.  I believe we take them aside, model kindness, provide opportunities for kindness, recognize (not reward, but recognize) kindness and promote kindness. We create the conditions for them to be successful.
As with other successful approaches this will take time.    It takes time to identify those people who truly are bullies (and they aren't always children).  It takes time to work with that individual, to have them see how people perceive them.  In my experience most bullies are shocked when you tell them that this is how others see them.  It takes time to identify the behaviors that need to be addressed and to decide on the best way to support this particular individual.   You see, no "program" works for everyone.  As in reading or math or behavior a multi-faceted approach is likely required.  This takes time. I believe it also requires a shift from a focus that reduces the negative to a focus that increases the positive.  Aren't our children and our communities worth it?

Quiet

Quiet.  It's a funny thing.  It can bring out the best in you or it can magnify your greatest fears.

I'm sitting in my very quiet home this afternoon and it suddenly struck me how quiet it was.  When I first retired I didn't like a lot of quiet.  By mid-morning I had usually turned on the tv, the radio or some music simply because I couldn't settle into the quiet.  I'm used to having people around.  When I was a teacher I was used to having a LOT of people around.  My last three years of teaching were in a middle-school and trust me, there's not a lot of quiet!  We have four children who somehow (?) over the last few years transformed into a group of twelve (lovely husbands and wife and lovely, lovely grandchildren).  When they were all home for Christmas (Yahoo!) there was, almost literally, no quiet.  Noise has never been a problem for me.  It doesn't take getting used to.  It just is.  And I like it.

Quiet, on the other hand, did not settle in easily.  At first it agitated me.  After a while it was less noticeable but it was still there reminding me how alone I was for the first time in my life.  Sometimes it seemed to taunt me and other times it seemed to be giving me a kick in the behind reminding me of all the things I was going to do once I had retired and had all of this quiet time on my hands.  It's quiet, get up and DO something.  This has been especially true during the gray days of winter when I am less tempted to avoid the quiet by getting on my bike or going for a walk.  Less chance of that happening with the sideways wind and the buckets of rain that keep pouring out of the sky.

So this afternoon while I was working in my "studio" (don't you just love all the images that word conjures up?  It's actually my basement that I call a "studio) I was a bit surprised to notice that it was quiet.  Has been all day.  No radio, no television, no music and I hadn't even noticed.  I had done a bit of cleaning, a bit of cooking, a lot of reading, some knitting, some playing with my latest collage and a lot of thinking and I had done it all in the quiet.  When did this happen, this comfort with the elephant in the room called 'quiet'?

Perhaps the seeds were planted when I began meditating a few minutes a day some months ago.  Perhaps the many books and articles I've been reading about bringing peace to my life started it.  I've always been much more comfortable with chaos than I have been with peacefulness so this is a deep shift for me.  Perhaps I've just never had the opportunity to get to know quiet a little better.

What I do know is that I like it.  I like the slow pace quiet brings to my life.  I like reading a book without keeping my finger on the words so I know where I am when life interrupts.  I like hearing my thoughts, never really  happened before that I can recall.  I like imagining all the things I can do with my day, even if I don't actually do them.  I like the sound of my knitting needles against each other.  Who knew they even made a sound?  I like the beep of the oven when my blueberry applesauce loaf is ready even though it breaks the silence for just a moment. 

Quiet and I are not ready to be bosom buddies or anything but our visits are getting longer and longer and more and more enjoyable.  Quiet.  I like it.

Embrace

It seems that whether or not you intend to make 'resolutions' the beginning of a new year is a natural time to reflect and to look forward, all at the same time.  Having just passed my 58th birthday I recognize and appreciate the many wonderful people and experiences these 58 years encompass.  Reflection is something I do naturally - looking forward on the other hand is something that I find a bit more challenging.  We are at a time in our lives where there will be many changes and I am  looking forward to them while at the same time recognizing that there will be challenges that come with those changes.  The next couple of years will be exciting, adventurous and will bring a whole host of new experiences that will both enrich and challenge us.

 

The water colour painting above by Judi Motts Pedder is of one of my favourite places in the world.  The spit in Comox, on Vancouver Island, is where I spent my teenage years when the world seemed too much to handle, which really wasn't that often.  I don't get there as often as I would like but when I'm there I feel peace settling in all around me.  I can actually feel the salty air expand deep into my lungs as my muscles relax and the furrow leaves my brow.  There is always a breeze, always the sound of the waves washing up onto the shore, always the beautiful colours of the beach and the sea sky, always the feel of sand under your feet and always , always, the feeling that I'm home. If there was any one place in the world I would choose to go to comtemplate life it would be here.  So it seems fitting that I gaze at this picture, in lieu of being able to really be there, as I ponder what 2013 will bring my way.  I choose the word "bring" with intention for life will always have surprises for you no matter how well you think you have it all planned out.

 

So, my guiding word for 2013 is 'embrace'. 

 

While there are many definitions for the word 'embrace' my initial interpretation is in the most literal of senses.  I will continue to embrace my family and close friends, to appreciate all the love and laughter and support that they bring to my world, to pull them close and show them that I love them every chance I get.

 

Retirement has brought many changes to my world and with retirement sneaking up on my husband the changes will get bigger and hopefully, better.  The next couple of years will involve moving a couple of times and lots and lots of travel.  I intend to embrace all of the experiences and new acquaintances that come with these changes. 

 

My physical health has been suspect over the last couple of years and I am working hard to embrace some new practices in my life.  I have played around with yoga and meditation and this year I intend to embrace both fully including a yoga retreat next month.

 

We are all happy in life to embrace the moments that bring us joy.  We are less happy to embrace those moments that bring us pain.  Of course we'd all love a life with no pain but recognize that our joy would be less joyful without it.  While my life is good there are always moments or situations that bring out a side of me that I'm not always proud of and a side of me that I certainly don't embrace.  It is my intention this year to embrace all of me for I wouldn't be who I am without all facets of my personality.   I am a passionate person.  I am passionately happy.  I am passionately angry.  I am passionately curious and I am passionately emotional.  I love that I am passionate and will embrace this quality in both its positive and negative forms.

"Embrace who you are. You have been given every tool, every talent,
every trait you need to realize your destiny." 

This is a quote I have come across in various forms time and time again over the last few months and 2013 will be the year for me to embrace who I am.  I am hesitant, even at craft shows to say that I am an artist.  But, it's true.  I am.  I haven't been to art school and have no formal training.  I don't know how to sketch or paint or take photographs like a professional.  What I do have is a curious nature and an ability to enjoy trying new things.  In some of those trials I have found that I do have the ability to "create" and it's time to embrace this side of me as well.

I have taken on a creative project for 2013 and that project is me. I am on a quest to find out who I am and who I want to be as this new phase of my life continues.  The first few months of retirement have been quiet and I have enjoyed the opportunity to read, create, sleep, clean, cook and spend my days adjusting to having no schedule.  Mostly, it's been fun.  However, I have not yet fully embraced it and the time to do that has come.

  I will finish today's blog with a quote from the book that is a timely gift from a treasured friend, MEDITATIONS FROM THE MAT
for it seems to sum up all I intend to embrace in the coming year. . .

"A spiritual practice is one that brings us full circle -- not to a new self but, rather, back to the essence of our true selves.  Yoga is the practice of celebrating what is.  At the end of the hero's journey, he finds that he did not need to go anywhere, that all he sought was inside him all along.  Dorothy, having traveled across time and space to the land of Oz, and having struggled desperately to find her way back to Kansas, discovers that she could have gone home at any time.  In the end, she learns that her adventures have simply brought her to the point where she can believe this. 
It is the aim of all spiritual seeking to bring us home,
home to the understanding
 that we already have
 everything we need."


Happy 2013 everyone!

 

Unpacking the Memories

Each Christmas season as I dig out the boxes of  decorations I look forward to all of the memories that are about to descend on me.  I'm no Martha Stuart so no monochromatic or thematic decorating schemes for me.  What erupts out of those plastic storage bins and cardboard boxes are friendly faces and experiences, years and years of them.

Ornaments made out of leftover egg cartons (with lots and lots of glue and glitter), walnut shells made into little mice, paper rings so faded it's hard to tell if they're red or green anymore created by childhood hands just yesterday.  The lovely crocheted stockings made by our elderly neighbor when our twins were born, an ornate dream-catcher from a former student, so many from former students.  So glad I took the time to write their names and years on them as surely I wouldn't have been able to remember them all otherwise. The yellow-slickered fisherman from our trip to PEI is one of many ornaments picked up on memory-filled vacations.  I hang the craftpaper Rudolph, plug in the stocking lamp, settle mini Mr. & Mrs. Santa into their rocking chairs. The hand-made picture collage/advent calendar is hung and I've set the Santa cookie plate onto its spot on the mantle.  The Christmas book is on the shelf and the wonky elf has taken his place in the sleigh I made at a toll painting class many years ago.  So many of our small treasures were gifts from our small children, bought at our local craft fair which was a yearly event in itself.  I have fond memories of our children running around hiding what they had bought for each other when I knew it wouldn't be five minutes after we got home that they would have spilled the beans on all the goods they had gotten.  I'll tell you if you'll tell me :)

 

As I place each of these treasures into their own spots I am flooded with emotion (again!)  You see Christmas is one of those times of the year where it is about so much more than a "holiday".  It is a season of memories past and a time to create more memories to add to those that already fill your heart.  It is a time to treasure all life has given you and a time to celebrate all that life is.  Time now to go off and make some Nanimo bars, Cyclops and Butter Tarts, wrap some gifts, tie up some loose ends on those gifts I'm making and then settle in and enjoy the sparkle that comes with Christmas.





 I know it is only December 5th but the spirit of the season is upon us. 

 Have a wonderful holiday everyone and

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away

The magical mystery tour is waiting to take you away.  Roll up we've got everything you need. 

Well, the evening was magical and it certainly had everything I needed.  I left BC Place Stadium last night feeling like I had indeed been on a magical mystery tour.  Paul McCartney took us from a blasting, fire-filled, sparkling, stage-vibrating rendition of Live and Let Die to a smokey, subtle, emotional piano solo version of Hey Jude. The shift was dramatic and  the crowd went from rowdy to dreamy in five seconds flat. The 40 000+ people who were there swayed to the music, held hands with their loved ones and swayed side to side as almost each and every one of us sang along.  I'm not sure what was in the heads of other folks at this time but for me Hey Jude brought back memories of junior high school.  Awkward boys and aggressive girls hopped and bopped to the tunes at our school dances while everyone nervously anticipated that "last dance".  It was always Hey Jude.  It was so long.  If you ended up with the boy or girl of your dreams you were guaranteed 6 minutes and 52 seconds of pure bliss.  If you ended up with someone whose arms you didn't want wrapped around you it was the longest 6 minutes and 52 seconds of your life. 

That's how the whole evening went for me, from bouncing in my seat, clapping my hands and screaming like a 15 year old girl  to wiping the tears from my eyes as memories and emotions  flowed through me.  I loved it all.  Music does that to me.  It winds me up and calms me down and last night the good-looking Beatle played me like one of those beautiful guitars he courted us with on and off through the three hours of solid hits he honoured us with. 
 
The Long and Winding Road was one of the first piano solos of the evening.  The music was beautiful, and the words came back to the tip of my tongue oh-so-quickly.  I'm not sure all of those who sat around me enjoyed my version but really, I didn't care.  In fact, I sang along to almost every song, sometimes quietly and sometimes at the top of my lungs. Sometimes tapping my foot and sometimes clapping my hands over my head and hooting in between verses. My husband didn't elbow me and tell me to stop and nobody threw stuff at me so I'm thinking either they were singing along or they were wrapped up in their own memories.  Paul took us all down a long and winding road last night and we loved him for it.

It was the shortest three hours of my life and I didn't want it to end in spite of four curtain calls.  We were taken through the crazy era of the British Invasion, honoured with Blackbird - a tribute to the civil rights movements and got to share a little of the love he had for both John and George. People waved their bic lighters (alongside their cell phones), pumped up their peace signs and screamed for more whenever he stopped.  It seemed impossible that this 70 year old man could whip the crowd into a frenzy with a bit of a smile, that lazy Liverpool accent or memory-filled songs that we could all identify with.

Yesterday, all my troubles did seem so far away.  I was with people I love listening to music I love remembering memories I love.  There were moments of pureness through the evening but I think my favourite was the piano solo of Maybe I'm Amazed. The original video shows a man and his family and it reflects how life was for our family at this time as well, all wrapped up in each other, living life simply with no real understanding of how quickly it would all pass.  I loved this song when it originally came out but I love it more now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cm2YyVZBL8U

Special times are made more special by the people you share them with and I'm so glad I shared this evening with the people I did.  It did my heart good to see my husband singing along with the rest of us (although much more quietly and dignified).  It did my heart good to lean my head toward my sister-in-law's as we sang Yesterday.  My husband's younger sister is still giving him the gears over his 1969 version of Yesterday and we all had a good laugh as we looked over to see if he was singing along with Paul last night.  I had my own pictures in my head of my older brother shredding his air guitar and flipping his hair over his head as well.  Music is all about emotion and last night we all travelled back in time and through a gamut of feelings.  In the words of my grandson, "IT WAS AWESOME!".

As we were reminded time and time again last night:

O-bla-di, o-bla-da, life goes on, brah!...

Lala how the life goes on.

And if you want some fun,

Sing O-bla-di-bla-da.

How To Be An Explorer of the World

When was the last time you were an explorer?  Perhaps on a vacation?  Maybe it was moving on to a new town or a new job or a new relationship.  I have always loved change.  I know most people feel discomforted by it but I love it.  Deep inside of me is an explorer longing for "new".  Sometimes that new can be as simple as changing my perspective but sometimes it requires something bigger. 

It is the time of year that I like the least.  The skies are a constant shade of grey, the ground a muddy mix of browns.  The landscape is bare, trees have shed all but the one or two leaves that simply refuse to drop.  Friends on Facebook are posting their pictures from the far-away sunny places they have gone to escape the dreariness.

It seems a perfect time to spice my life up with a little bit of "new".  Now, I wish I could take credit for the project I am about to undertake, but I can't.  A few years ago one of my daughters requested a book on her Christmas list (she's a crazy, voracious reader).  When I found it in that lovely little bookstore in Fort Langley, Wendel's, I was surprised on so many fronts. This wasn't a book you 'read', it was a book you 'experienced'.  This book was definitely not one I would have ever picked out for this daughter.  This book was certainly going to challenge her comfort zone.  I couldn't wait to see her embark on the journey this book was about to take her on.  As I browsed through other books by the same author I found one that I believed would take me on my own journey.  I have owned the book for a couple of years now and every now and then I take it off the shelf and  browse through it.  Parts of it are daunting, parts intriguing and some parts just look plain old-fashioned fun.  I'm not sure why I didn't delve into it right off the bat but I do believe the time is ripe for me to take it on.

Keri Smith has a LOT of books that make me curious but this is the one I chose and this is the one I am going to start with. The project that I am going to start with is Exploration #41 - Found Faces (there are 59 Explorations in this book).  I am going to haul my camera around with me for one week starting today and I am going to capture every "face" that I see. The only catch is that the faces cannot be attached to people, they must be "naturally-occurring"!   This challenge will make me look past the "dreary" into the details of the world around me.  It will infuse me with curiosity and will refocus me, which is just what I need right now.  Can't wait to share the pics of what I "see" this week.

 

Some other books by Keri Smith:

Finish this Book,  Wreck this Journal, Living Out Loud - Activities to Fuel a Creative Life, The Guerilla Art Kit, Mess: The Manual of Accidents and Mistakes, The Non-Planner Date Book, Boyology: A Teen Girl's Crash Course on All Things Boy.

 

 

This is a pic of Wendel's book store in Fort Langley, B.C.  If you haven't been there, it's a must see but make sure to take your wallet.  Wendel's also has a lovely little cafe where the soup is divine and the sandwiches are real.