An Unsettled Day

Not going to lie, folks.  Today I am feeling unsettled.  I generally have lots of energy and enjoy many activities that usually make me feel like there are not enough hours in the day for all I want to do. Today is different.

The times are different.  We are different.  And, I guess that's what prompts me to write today.  With all of the social media access out there and all of the time we spend on our devices, there aren't too many times where we see less than people's best.  Today, I am not at my best and I felt like maybe there were others out there who needed to hear they are not alone in that feeling.

Through most of the last couple of weeks I have actually enjoyed the quietness of our lives.  Even though we are retired, we are busy.  I am busy.  Creativity has filled the hours and there has been time for quiet contemplation.  You might not guess it, but I am a fairly contemplative person who needs alone time to ponder life on a pretty regular basis. I have stayed away from too much news and too much information.  I have deleted posts and messages that don't serve my need for peace right now.  I have been very selective about what I allow into my world.  So, I have not minded being home (other than not seeing our family who we miss terribly).

I know that going back to teaching this week has sapped a lot of my energy.  Zoom meetings are a wonderful way to get together but most people in education this week have had to face a variety of responses from those they work with, from their school boards, from the district and from the general public.  Reactions from my colleagues have been varied; some are quiet, some are vocal, some are anxious and some are downright eager to the point of working well into the night. I am happy and ready to work but my mindset has shifted from unusually quiet to full-tilt and I have to consciously slow things down for my own peace of mind.

I am taking care of myself and sometimes that looks like baking and sometimes it's art, watching a movie, looking at pictures, joining a photography challenge, writing notes to the kiddies or just sitting, quietly sitting.  I force myself away from thinking about the state of the world, how much school stuff I want to get done and sometimes even away from making art and going on bike rides.  What I am saying is that being still at this moment is taking a conscious effort where yesterday it didn't and  that I need to honour what my heart is telling me.

I know this will go away, probably by tomorrow, but today I needed 'to just be'.  I am hoping you are honouring what your inner voice is telling you and doing what is best for. you.  I am thinking of you all during these challenging times knowing that what brings peace will be different for each of you.  Take care of yourselves, listen to that inner voice and stay safe.