A Perfect Summer Evening

Some days, for whatever reason, seem more perfect than others.

Today was one of those days.  It was a perfect summer day

followed by a perfect summer evening.

As I headed out the door for my evening stroll it was still, so still.

And quiet.

Except for the laughter from the neighbour's children

dancing across the corn tassels in the field that separates us.

Barn swallows gather on the lines above

as they take a break from

darting and diving.

I am grateful for

every mosquito and fly they eat.

Our neighbourhood is full of fields

which are in turn are full of corn and hazelnuts.

Blackberries grow wild along the road and local 

fruit trees are dropping their loads to the ground below.

We are in bear country and it is the time of night

we often see them out and about.

All of my senses are alive.

The bear scat outside of our driveway

reminds me to stay alert.

The transparents I can hear thumping down from

this loaded tree are one more reminder.

I make my way down the long and winding road.

There are a half a dozen homes spread out

with room for children to run

and crops to grow.

Enough space for a person (and Mother Nature)

to just breathe.

As I round this corner I come

to the only hill in town

It beckons me, but my body is not ready.

Maybe next week, my friend.

As I turn around and head home

my heart is full.

I have stopped counting telephone poles

and have taken my camera off the shelf.

The sun is still warm on my back

 I am emotional, and grateful for the gift

of this perfect summer day.

Small Blessings - and some luck.

If I had been on a back road with Thelma or in the hills of Italy things may have turned out quite differently.  I am not a religious person, but I am a spiritual one and if you could all thank the 'Creator' you recognize in your life for having me at home, with my husband, when my esophagus ruptured, that would be wonderful.  Who even knew that could happen?  I don't remember anything about the time at home. 

I 'woke' up at Surrey Memorial Hospital on the evening of May 19th having been rerouted from Chilliwack and then Royal Columbian to the thoracic unit here in Surrey Memorial.  I remain at Surrey Memorial, making progress each day but with no hopes of going home just yet.

I cannot begin to tell you all (with tears flowing) how many people have been involved in keeping my journey here on earth just a little longer.  The nursing staff here is BEYOND anything you could imagine; challenging and supporting in just the right balance.  For me, this balance has been crucial. 

Someone takes my blood work every morning - I know there is a team behind this individual.  X-ray every day - another team. CAT scans regularly - a separate team.  The porters that run me back and forth are kind and gentle and again, work as a team.  Housekeeping, bedding, Medications, and others whose faces I have not seen but I know are working behind the scenes.  I count my guardian angels in the 100s, and that is just for me, in a hospital full of many.

These hospital times are made more challenging by not being able to have your family with you to support. you along the way but, if you know my family, you know they have overcome.  I feel their strength and love wrapped around me every minute of every day.  They are not in the building but their love is pulling me through.  I can't wait to hug you all!

I have no expected release date but am hoping for the next week or so.

Thank you all for your kind words of support- they really do mean EVERYTHING! Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.  I am still not strong enough to get back to everyone so please don't be offended if you don't hear directly from me.

Missing you all and looking forward to coming home, but mostly I am counting my blessings!

Do You Notice?

Do you notice

a billowy cloud 

rising in the skies above

shaped like a heart

as the breeze pushes the sky around

Do you notice

the smell of lavender

as you move your plants

in your spring garden

planning and rearranging as you go?

Do you notice

all the shades of green

as spring tightens

its hold on the land

and blossoms form on every tree?

Do you notice

the beans pushing the dirt

out of their way

as they climb out of the ground

reaching upwards uncurling as they go?

Do you notice

the rustling movements

as the light breezes

move everything in sight

Trees and flowers dancing together?

I try to notice

all of the everyday beauty

that is outside of my window

and in the fields around our home

Do you?

A Glimpse of a Younger Me

I was enjoying an after dinner bike ride one sunny evening last week.  I took Thelma as I needed room for my camera and it was my second ride of the day so speed was not on my mind.  I pedalled through the back roads of our small town trying to keep the bugs out of my teeth and the stench of freshly manured fields out of my nostrils.

I have a regular route I like to pedal as it's all quiet backroads with little traffic.  I rounded the corner heading towards the golf course as usual.  Up ahead of me was a father and his two young children.  He was moving slowly watching the two kids up ahead and just enjoying the views and an evening stroll.  I moved to the left side of the road to give them all some space and soon I passed the little boy as well.  As I moved closer to the older sister she cut in front of me, trying her best to run over the pine cones on the road.  We avoided a collision, both of us smiling at her determined attempts to hit the targets.  My kind of girl.  I pedalled by her and was surprised as I could hear her coming up behind me.

This section of road is not a long one and I was getting close to the right turn as she inched closer and closer.  I could see that the race was on.

Without saying a word, and with only a quick glance back, I knew I was in a race.  She bent over her handle bars and pumped her little legs faster and faster as she pulled up closer.  I smiled and pedalled a little quicker - as did she.  We were getting a ways ahead of her dad and brother so I slowed just enough to let her pull even.  She smiled at me, picked up speed and pulled ahead.  As soon as her back wheel passed my front end she pulled over to the side, waited for me to pass and turned her bike around heading back towards her dad and brother.  I gave her a wink and a nod as she rode away.  She looked at me with victory shining all over her face.

I don't even know this girl but I love her.  I love her competitive spirit.  I love that she needed to win. I love that I saw a glimpse of my younger self for just a moment on a back road in our wee town on a warm spring evening.

Where did 47 years go?

We met in the gym and never looked back.  We didn't know then how much time we would be spending in gyms in the coming years. We just knew we loved playing the game and it didn't take us long to figure out that we also loved each other.

When you choose your life partner at seventeen there is so much about life that you have no idea about.  You don't think about how you want to raise your children, how you want to do your finances and where and how you want to live.  You just know you love being around each other, that you can make each other laugh and that you are heading down the same path in life.  The laughter was really important, it has probably saved our relationship on more than one occasion.

He went off to university and I went off to work.  In spite of so much time apart we remained together and that is how we have stayed -together. After his first year of university, we married.  47 years ago today we became life partners.  Yes, life partners.  In spite of the ups and downs (and there have been plenty of both) we knew we were in it for forever. 

May 12, 1973

It seems we went from two to six to more in the wink of an eye.  When you choose your own life partner, make sure he has a sense of humour, a kind and gentle heart, a love of family and the dedication to stick by you through thick and thin.  I couldn't imagine having gone through this life without this wonderful man by side.  Here's to another 47 years of craziness!  Happy Anniversary, Bob!

Learning to Learn - For Life

I started 2020 with a goal of 'making a lot of mistakes'.  I wanted to try new things while having some adventures along the way.  The early part of the year involved pottery lessons, an encaustic class, a journal retreat, a Coast Salish weaving class, Zentangle and macrame.  Alongside formal classes I was learning to play with these new skills at home.  Trust me, I made a LOT of mistakes.  I also learned a lot about how I learn.

  

I don't mind making mistakes.  Especially if I am in a group of people who are also making mistakes. I am considerably less patient when I am the slow learner!  Learning has always been fairly easy for me, especially when it involves things I am interested in.  With learning so many new things in a short time at the start of the year I was exposed to a lot of new skills.  I was honestly surprised at my impatience with myself if I felt like I was falling behind the rest of the class.  I was MOST frustrated when the instructor did not bail me out immediately!  When I had to sit and wait, while others moved on, I became incredibly impatient, sometimes to the point of agitation.  It was so good for me to learn to breathe, to be patient, to try to figure it out myself while I waited and to know that learning isn't always easy.  I practiced all of these stategies and, trust me, they took PRACTICE!  I have still not mastered these strategies but I am better and getting better all the time.

Then came Covid-19.  I had signed up for a photography class that focussed on architecture.  Two days in downtown Chilliwack that I was really looking forward to.  I also signed up for a long distance cycling condo that would have been my first large group ride.  I was most disappointed in this one as it was my 'motivator' and my 'big adventure' for the early part of this year.  My new road bike will just have to wait for its inaugural race.

An Unsettled Day

Not going to lie, folks.  Today I am feeling unsettled.  I generally have lots of energy and enjoy many activities that usually make me feel like there are not enough hours in the day for all I want to do. Today is different.

The times are different.  We are different.  And, I guess that's what prompts me to write today.  With all of the social media access out there and all of the time we spend on our devices, there aren't too many times where we see less than people's best.  Today, I am not at my best and I felt like maybe there were others out there who needed to hear they are not alone in that feeling.

Through most of the last couple of weeks I have actually enjoyed the quietness of our lives.  Even though we are retired, we are busy.  I am busy.  Creativity has filled the hours and there has been time for quiet contemplation.  You might not guess it, but I am a fairly contemplative person who needs alone time to ponder life on a pretty regular basis. I have stayed away from too much news and too much information.  I have deleted posts and messages that don't serve my need for peace right now.  I have been very selective about what I allow into my world.  So, I have not minded being home (other than not seeing our family who we miss terribly).

I know that going back to teaching this week has sapped a lot of my energy.  Zoom meetings are a wonderful way to get together but most people in education this week have had to face a variety of responses from those they work with, from their school boards, from the district and from the general public.  Reactions from my colleagues have been varied; some are quiet, some are vocal, some are anxious and some are downright eager to the point of working well into the night. I am happy and ready to work but my mindset has shifted from unusually quiet to full-tilt and I have to consciously slow things down for my own peace of mind.

I am taking care of myself and sometimes that looks like baking and sometimes it's art, watching a movie, looking at pictures, joining a photography challenge, writing notes to the kiddies or just sitting, quietly sitting.  I force myself away from thinking about the state of the world, how much school stuff I want to get done and sometimes even away from making art and going on bike rides.  What I am saying is that being still at this moment is taking a conscious effort where yesterday it didn't and  that I need to honour what my heart is telling me.

I know this will go away, probably by tomorrow, but today I needed 'to just be'.  I am hoping you are honouring what your inner voice is telling you and doing what is best for. you.  I am thinking of you all during these challenging times knowing that what brings peace will be different for each of you.  Take care of yourselves, listen to that inner voice and stay safe.