I am reading a lot of articles and listening to my own family and am hearing all around me how hard young families are finding these difficult times. Routines are all out of whack, bedtimes are more challenging and just being together 24/7 is grinding families down. This article on 'Surge Capacity' sums it all up, reflects what I am hearing and is well worth the read; https://www.scarymommy.com/what-it-means-surge-capacity-depleted/?utm_source=FBIP&fbclid=IwAR2fUxtQf7ltzQF58PzQAlfUINY7syD-jRUg1iMJXyYYBzh3GVNkNiDvi0k
Not much of this article rings true though for this retired Gramma. My routines involve slow mornings, afternoon walks or bike rides, time in my art room, good books and the odd Netflix binge. I have been doing a lot of baking and now that fall is just around the corner I am anticipating lots of home made bread and soups and stews.
What I am missing is my family, social gatherings, planning (trips, concerts, family gatherings etc.) and long hugs from good friends. I am also missing some solitude. Alone time. I mean really ALONE. This need for space and time alone is not something I even thought about when my family was young and the house was full of busy-ness and noise and yes, the mess that comes with having four kids. It seems the more time I have to just sit and think, the more I need. The more time I have to journal and write, the more time I need. The more time I have alone, the more I need.
My husband is terrific. I am a slow morning person and he knows this. I know his long morning walks and bike rides are as much about giving me some space as they are about him getting his exercise. Or maybe, he just needs to get away from me. He is good at sensing when I need space and is very thoughtful about doing his best to provide that in our little home. His shop has been well used these past few months and our grandkids have benefited from his time spent there. He is aware of my needs and is thoughtful about respecting those needs.
In Anne Morrow Lindbergh's Gift From the Sea, she writes, "Women need solitude in order to find again the true essence of themselves." This is where I am at right now. I need some time alone to sort out my thoughts, to just sit and be and maybe to write and paint. Given my health scare in May I am still processing the fact that I made it back from the dark side and what this means to me and to those who love me. My body and soul are still recovering even though I look perfectly fine on the outside. I really do want to spend some time figuring out, as Mary Oliver states, "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life." This is an especially important question given the times. What I would do with this life in non-covid times would always involve travel, international travel. Covid times make this a different sort of planning and involves really investigating the risks.
It is also important to remind myself that 'this too shall pass'. There will be a day, whenever that comes, when life will take on a sense of 'normal' again. I am just as sure that 'normal' will have to be reinvented. At any rate, I am a hugger and can't wait to feel arms around me squeezing hard, especially wee arms and family arms but also the hugs of good friends and old friends and friends I've yet to meet. Stay in the moment, make the most of what the world has to offer during these challenging times but also, keep an eye to the future and the gifts that it will bring.
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